you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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