just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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