This girl is more easily done than said...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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