I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
