I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
