"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
