I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
