i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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