K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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