Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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