I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize