He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
