I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
