batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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