they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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