Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
