My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
