it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
50% drunk capacity currently
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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