My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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