$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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