Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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