and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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