everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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