I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
