Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
