she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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