What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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