absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
