My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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