Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i drank out of a bidet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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