Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize