3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
