He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My feet surprised me
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