he puts the penis in happiness.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
