What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
