why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
