1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
