I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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