He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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