Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
