Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
