Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
