im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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