I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
