I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
