she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
