Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
