I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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