Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
