i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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