YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
