it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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