Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize