He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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