that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
