This is not my ceiling
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
