Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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