Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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