I should be sponsored by Trojan
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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