oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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