why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
