i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
