That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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