...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
