successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He did a backflip because drugs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
