i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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