Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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