Say something about gay babies.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
