susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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