I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
