Christians are straight up FREAKS
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm at about main and main street
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
