North Korea, Best Korea!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
