So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
4 words: hood of his car
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and she was petting her beer can
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
