TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
